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    May 04

    杭州之行

    打开日志的时候我正在想
    什么时候我开始如此频繁地往外跑了呢?
    不久前的上海之行,刚刚回来的杭州之行
    总是有些吸引我的因素才让我这样奔波吧
     
    今天回到家,在自己的床上狠狠地睡了一觉
    很久没有这样熟悉的味道了
    发现,开始要回到原来的生活中
    平淡的,有规律的,一个人的,思念的,行走的。
     
    去泡了杯久违的咖啡,很熟悉的味道
    这就是家的味道么?
    对我而言,什么是家?
    有自己专属的杯子、桌子,有自己的照片在自己的房间里
    有吵闹的电视机,有习惯的味道,有熟悉的环境,有自己爱的人……
    如果这一切在别的城市出现,那么那个地方也会给我家的感觉么?
    还是说,宁波的原始的出生地会是我无法取代的家的烙印呢?
     
    终于发现所谓的“熟悉”是多么重要``
    当看到自己认识的建筑物出现在印象中应该出现的地方的时候
    我才觉得自己回到了自己踏踏实实存在的地方
    在这里,我是一个人的、独立的、坚强的、干练的、理智的
    因为没有他,我就不会想太多、犹豫、患得患失、发傻、钻牛角尖
     
    真是太要命的事情,但确确实实影响着我
    我想我需要时间来理顺那么多关系和事情```
    所以我终于决定暂时不想太多
    既然老天爷已经耍了我那么久却还让我走到了这里
    那么我就暂时相信他会一直善意地安排下去
     
    不想再追究所谓的旅行的意义
    因为不想再陷入无端的猜测里
     
    只是总结感谢
     
    感谢为了我奔波的周某人,我想我还是不懂你,因为你还是在我面前隐藏自己。
    感谢陪我走西湖的高某人,我想我们彼此又多了一个朋友,即使有一天没有了周,这份感情还是可以独立存在下去。
     
    而最后,我还是在这里,手提着沉重的行李。
     
     
     

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